Why Meditate? And 5 Ways to Turn It into a Lasting Habit

From the archive. First published February 2021.

It was a disaster.

It began when I was 23. I had just lost the two most important women in my life: my mum and my girlfriend.

It was ruining me, mentally and physically.

On the other side, I had a lot going for me.

I was a qualified, industrious boy who didn’t hate his job. I had a supportive family and friends I could rely on. My drug and alcohol consumption was limited to occasional parties. I even followed a strict diet.

Despite all that, I was a terrible case.

Getting from one day to the next was strange, like a cat trying to cough up a hairball. Time dragged, and nothing made me feel better about the awful furball in my throat.

When I looked for an answer on the internet, therapy was the only thing that made sense, the only thing that stood a chance of moving me out of my constant anxiety. So I booked an affordable old lady on Practo. But a few days before the appointment, I found something else.

I was mindlessly scrolling a subreddit on psychotherapy. One of the comments mentioned how a user got out of his own version of hell through meditation.

Meditation?

My 23-year-old self didn’t think meditation was for a normal office-going chap. And even if it was, it wasn’t there to get us out of anxiety after a personal loss.

All I knew was that bald monks used meditation, mainly to prolong the number of hours they could sit without numbing their backsides.

I had doubts, clearly. At the back of my head, I could see how meditation would fail too, as everything else had failed.

But I was willing to try it.

When I checked for free resources to learn meditation, I found the Headspace app.

The introductory videos were easy to understand and prepared me for my first beginner lessons.

To my surprise, within the first month, the anxiety eased to a level I could manage.

The simple process of focusing on my senses and the weight of my body, and then doing a body scan, helped me with the clouds of fear that hovered over me.

A few months later, I managed to pull myself out of my little hell.

I didn’t use the appointment with the therapist, which I do think would have been a great addition to my meditation practice. Anyway.

Like any habit, meditation didn’t work, at least in the beginning, unless I did it every day.

As Tom Waits puts it, ‘The way you do anything is the way you do everything.’

So, the trick is to do it regularly.

If you’re planning to start meditation, here are some tips on how to make it a daily habit.

Complete your introductory lessons.

Introductory lessons on meditation are not important in themselves. You will gain the benefits as long as you meditate.

But how will you bring yourself to practise every day?

Motivation will only take you so far, especially in the beginning.

If you do not know what you’re doing, and how meditation helps with the thing you’re struggling with, you may gradually lose the drive.

It may feel like it’s not working. Useless, like everything else you have tried.

The answer is to get closer to its mechanics: how it works and why it works.

The Headspace app has a ‘Techniques and Support’ section. It covers the main techniques the app uses and the physical and mental obstacles you might face along the way.

It’s a great place to start.

Set an intention.

Setting an intention at the beginning of your practice can change how the whole sit feels.

You bring your mind and your thoughts to one intention, a guiding principle for how you want to live, be and show up in an area of your life, whether that’s your relationship or your work.

Ask yourself what matters most. In a way, it is the first step to living the way you want to.

Also, try framing your intention positively. Instead of “I want to stop wasting my life”, say “I want to be more efficient at my job”.

Done right, intentions do more than you would expect.

The trick is to keep revisiting your intention as often as possible, so your body and mind know what you want.

Start small.

You don’t need to sit for hours in silence to receive the benefits. The idea is to return to your meditation practice daily, or as often as possible.

You’re more likely to stick with the practice when you start small, with a realistic goal, like ten minutes, or even five.

Never stretch yourself so thin that you can’t return the next day.

Missing a day shouldn’t make you shake your finger at the sky, complaining that everything is lost.

If you miss a day, or more, because life is busy, meditate in the next slot of time you can make for yourself.

There is no point in being hard on yourself.

One night in January 2019, around three in the morning, I couldn’t decide between finishing one more chapter of a Coetzee essay book and meditating. I did neither. I passed out. The next day I sat for twenty minutes anyway. In my journal I wrote that it wasn’t as joyous as I like to imagine meditation being, and that I did fine. That was the whole review. I had also noticed that half my reading time went on replaying random scenes from the past, so I planned a second short sit for that night, with a video from the Headspace channel.

A sit that feels like nothing special still counts, and it keeps the streak alive.

Make it the first thing you do after you get up.

People come in all types and at all stages. Some prefer mornings, others prefer evenings, or even nights.

Whatever the case, try starting your day with meditation. If you have a night job and wake up in the evening, do it then, before you eat.

On good days you can experiment with longer sessions, but it isn’t necessary. You will be there when it’s time.

The other way is to rely on convenience. If there is a specific time when you’re free every day, like your lunch break, you can put your practice there.

There are no hard rules here. Just show up as often as possible, and as often as you need it.

The streak is your friend.

You want to commit to meditating every day. Most meditation apps have a streak counter built in, with little badges that mark your progress. The counter creates a positive feedback loop: the further you are into your streak, the better the chances that you will stick to your daily practice.

Personally, keeping track of my streak is what made me consistent. It was a powerful motivator.

The other way to count your streak is to put a cross on a calendar. You can use an app or a physical diary. It doesn’t make a difference.

During difficult times, remember that the streak counter is your best friend.

This article started with “it was a disaster”. True. It all started with a disaster. But it gets better.

Four years of meditation have made me less distracted and less reactive to my surroundings. Today I am more composed, and more inclined to pick difficult tasks.

Meditation has turned me inwards. It has shown me that good days and bad days both come and go.

And those are only a few of the benefits I have received from my meditation practice.

I am still learning, and there is a lot more to learn.

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